How-To Guide Suggestions 101 Manual Instructions Class Lesson: How Not to Return to the USA from China (part 1 of…more)

Remember my Brigham-like prophecies of delays, disasters, and demoralizing drool on the shoulders of strangers?

Well, guess what–it came true.


The following timeline is disgustingly true, and a perfect example of 1) why never to travel with me, 2) how to sweat. a LOT., 3) why jinxing oneself is VERY possible, 4) why I cry when I’m alone.

Day 1

  • 8:00am: wake up, finish packing, begin sweating
  • 9:00am: leave apartment with 100 lbs. of climbing/camping gear, sweating
  • 9:01am: realize I forgot to pay for final 2 nights in apartment, turn around
  • 9:01am: turn back around, realizing I’ve given said apartment my climbing rope
  • 9:01am-9:30am: walk to bus station
  • 9:30am-9:40am: wait for bus, find correct bus, board bus, sweating profusely
  • 9:45am: watch the person who sat beside me decide to stand in the aisle instead of sitting next to my sweaty self
  • 10:00am: 100 degrees
  • 10:00am-12:00pm: ride bus, allow sweat to settle into vinyl seat/cotton shirt
  • 12:00pm: exit bus in the rain, get lost, find restaurant, struggle to order food after 2 months in Asia, eat
  • 12:15pm-12:50pm: get lost in a downpour with 100 lbs. of backpacks trying to find train station in Guilin, China
  • 12:50pm: arrive at train station after unsuccessfully asking 5+ people where the train station is, sit outside as the rain subsides, begin sweating
  • 12:50pm-1:10pm: freak out from near heat stroke, enter train station, find correct platform
  • 1:10pm-2:30pm: wait for train, sit as still as possible to stop sweating, eat 99% of the food I’ve brought for the 25 hour train ride
  • 2:30pm: finally figure out that everyone has returned to seats because train is delayed by 2 hours
  • 4:30pm: be continually pushed aside as Chinese continue their favorite Chinese custom: ignoring/not having any semblance of organization or lines and disrespecting foreigners with climbing gear
  • 4:32pm: fight my way through hordes of running Chinese people to car #12, seat 14 (top of triple-bunk), drip sweat all over everyone trying to arrange my enormous gear bags
  • 4:32pm-6:00pm on Day 2: lay on top bunk, with face 6″ from ceiling, staring, starving, and SWEATING.  For 26 HOURS!
Part 1 total: 34 hours

About @brodyleven

This entry was posted in Climbing, Korea & China 2011, traveling and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to How-To Guide Suggestions 101 Manual Instructions Class Lesson: How Not to Return to the USA from China (part 1 of…more)

  1. Pingback: In the Meantime | brody leven

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